Thursday, September 13, 2007 . 12:17 AM
perphaps your righti do want you around just to hear what i say then i shut down.perphaps i never did hear a damn thing you ever said to me. ever. the times i said i was, i was not paying attention. and then i said something about ME again. and you got tired cause you knew all i wanted to hear was my own self talking.
damn .
miss s.li told me how egocentric and bimbotic i was today
it bugged me alot
it disturbed me alot maybe because she said all that without malics, without ill-intent, without any attempt at anger, without holding any grudge, without caring if i was her friends for the next ten thousand years or not. without a REASON.she just said it cause i asked her a question. and it affected me and put me in a state of trance the whole day. i realised today how much i valued my friend's opinion till today. some opinions are hard won. i think this judgement was passed non contested.
her alter ego told me the same thing when i asked her opinion. except in the yelling tone she always used.
i watched as she simmered n her seat and tried not to blow up agreeing "' yes !!! you see!!! you care only about yourself! "
it didnt help that today i read a note from jon written way back
telling me how i only cared to hear about myself.one ear in, the other ear out.
all these make me think back on how shitty you must have felt going out with me then. it seems so so long ago. but counting the days i realise it wasn't really. ... now i lament on the days flown by. they seem long and aplenty.how on earth did you tahan me? and where are you now ? i bet your reading this laughing behind your damn computer.
[HEADMUSIC]: around the world by daft punk
