Friday, August 17, 2007 . 8:47 PM
apologies for the last entry. song was by nickleback. titled somedayi had a shitty day
so im currently awaiting a called from mr UK blocked shyam cus we are suppose to go on some hot date *rolls eyes. im in a foul mood. i need a pal and drinks. only that dumbo can make me smile. so im quite lucky he was free today.
im tired
just for once can i not be so so damn right about you
i wish rocky's words weren't true. i wish you did not lie to me. i wish you had the guts and balls to tell me straight but instead you lied outright to my face. rocky told me i had to find out for myself. and now ,in my brain i am rolling over ideas how to kill myself instead of you. strange and yeah, i hate myself for that too. more than you.
i can't pick up the phone now cause im afraid of the words that will come out from my wretched mouth. shall i condemn what scum you are for playing someone else? shall i blame you for that lie you told me just to hold my hand? shall i rip your name apart from my mind and erase you from my bed? so i shant ring you, because your name is still there. please stop dialling my number. please stop wracking my mind though i know you can't help it. its me and my own fault.
so here i am.
back to the same old die hard habit: drinking
its been so long yet you did not die. and between you and me i guess someone must .
men really are the lowest of all mammals.
i wish they'd all burn in hell.
[HEADMUSIC]: one last breath by creed
