Monday, October 09, 2006 . 12:34 PM
note: this blog gets me in such a fix at time i was thinking just the other day how i should delete all of it. yet .. i was a wuss. i couldn't. didn't want to delete the weird times i lost my mind. the irrational thinking that floats in and out of my mind once upon a time. at times i even thinks its funny. now ... looking back, they only cause me such trouble all this past pains. why not delete. ahhh dumb me. like i said. it does get me into so much trouble with my future. stupid me. i gotta be less sentimental and compulsive in hoarding all my thoughts. so .... maybe one day, when i do feel that devoid of feelings , you'll find all my past year entries simply .. gone.but for now yeah they can rot here.
can't remember most.
so i read
and reread
feeling nothing
shoutouts:
to the fuzzy bear:
hey im sorry you get so affected reading. my past and stupid things that drive me up the wall before. im half sad and happy to say that i feel almost nothing now.sounds bit strange that nothing can affect me anymore. the worst has past and im looking forward. i want to restart my life. i hope you do the same too
to my girls back home:
oie!!!! really NEED to party and lim. yesh! i got the testimonials.i am in agreement.i know you guys dunno much what has happened so far. sorry for keeping alot to myself. we'll catch up k . esp after sexy's rari raya :)
to the boys:
yes nixx! i miss you guys too! glad ur guys can all meet up still back in sg. plz stay in touch k. and mr rocky , oie siao eh .. how have u been? you like totalli died ah. okie take care hor.
and yes its my few days off!
thinking im growing bit too independent for a tourist. is that humanely possible? okie. more like a solo tourist. i shop myself, cook, clean eat by myself. get to work myself via trams and trains. i wind up thinking alot by myself.
i think finally the second phase of my life has started.
growing up
working solo
absolute independence
dependency upon me myself and i.
i am proud you know. of myself. everything i am right now. proud cause i am able to do things now focusing on number one. somehow i feel stronger.no agenda. and work my day around myself. how i want it. i have 1000000000000000 choices. though usually the pig i am chooses my vcds, cooking and cleaning naturally. o yeah and work. that's all.
boring me.
shall shower and watch vcds. usual day off stuff. ta
[headmusic]:misunderstood by bon jovi
[thoughts]: i just wanted you to know ..
