Tuesday, October 03, 2006 . 5:42 PM
i think i really must hate you ..then why is it that diamonds still fall
yesterday was invited to yi's bday dinner.
there was yi, wendy, wendy's girl (i can't remember her name) claira, pei and me.we met up at this steakhouse which pei claims that the smell of the steak can be smelt all the way from prahan. amazing. erm .. and no i cant smell it.
k lemme discribe the group
yi: wearing black pullover, short black hair with some streaks of blond in them. nice girl who thinks i stare at her too much. ha . i don't and yeah she is pei's friend and helped look after the cats once upon a time. she has this chin stud which im like not pain meh
wendy: yi's house mate. kinda funky spunky girl with aero dynamic hair. sweet face and she wore semi formal pull over with a shirt
wendy's girl: this angmoh, i think she is aussie. she like to smile alot. quiet girl but yeah sweet. she wore some weird looking knitted top. i didnt like it. but yeah she does thats enough
claira: this girl, shoulder lenght black hair. reminds me how i used to cut my hair like that. she is one of the rare people i know that has a lip ring. its black.
and yeah so that basically is the group. didnt know them well but sorta try and chat when i manage to get myself out of the depression i felt.
steak was good. went all the way home to get THE BOMB then we all trooped to yi's place.
the bomb is a bomb shaped timer which ticks while the players are suppose to form words with the given cards inside. yi kept getting bombed and drank countless shots.shots of yucky gin. eek.
end of the nite i drank 3-4 shots of gin. very disgusting.
i keep thinking that gin smells of flowers. i drank 2 beers. sounds so little compared to sg. we all watched margret cho's ALL I WANT IS ME FOR MYSELF. something liddat. not sure about the title. i kept laughing then. nice to know that its little things like these which are still able to lift my mood.
after the show spent the wee hours playing THE BOMB then i sat outside drinking.
claira sat with me and we chatted. she is amazing. her perception of relationship totally blown me away.
she never in her life been in a relationship with anyone and she feels there is no need to. she told me about how fleeting people are really. superfical animals really and thus in short she doesnt see anyone worthy of that time. that commitment. she is that cool
her voice reminded me of sea.
her words vesus mine own in defense of relationships. i made me sad all over agian. its strange how i could be talking, cold, and tearing at the same time. how could i feel so lousy yet still fight for the whole notion of a relationship and why it is important. claira was kind not to mention the tears to me. kind not to point out nor throw a sympathic arm around. i swear i would have cried. not tear. cry. good girl. but yeah she was gonna head home but stayed till we left. so i guess i did come across as a little pathetic and her sympathy was while she waited till we all headed home.
she said one thing to me " i know you want to be like me"
i was like huh? but maybe she is right. i really don't wanna feel. perphaps after all the debate i lost.
yi puked alot.
it was funny.
i went home to crash. it was like 5-6am.
i really must hate you
you make me feel this fucked up
[headmusic]: over my head by the fray
