Thursday, September 07, 2006 . 5:24 PM
I never knew how to forgive because it was in my nature to not yield to even the mere suggestion of it. I was selfish and could harbor hatred like the way a camel stores waterPerhaps you could say I never loved.
And I could not let go because I was not generous
I could never shared never learn bend nor show anyone I could break down nor up. I was mean and unfair just like the way you said I was.
Perhaps they would say I never loved
But I look at you and I felt defeated
A whirlwind I could never control, never hold.
It made you happy to be this way I knew so I let you.
I’ll take all the rain if you are able to stay in sunshine. I don’t mind.
How was I to know all I ever did was wrong.
So very wrong
They say “one cannot love to order”
I say “love has no order”
I don’t know how to separate the chaos and the reminisce of Me mingling inside my head now
I would have shot myself but I have no courage
Perhaps all would say I never loved
Then I grew old
And I think love has cost me
Something betwist between my soul and my mind
Too much
So they say I never loved
So they say
They all say so much
Well I say
Love is forgiving when you are falling apart
Love is the learning to let go because this will make everyone happier without you
I know that
Now
Perhaps everything they ever said was all wrong
====================================
i knew i lost her
she wants someone else.
winter should be colder
but then agian it doesn't matter.
i think i seriously stopped feeling
anything.
now i thank god everyday i wake up not thinking
i pray i died immediately the days i am
[thoughts]: after 3 years that goddamn fucking profile says "single". o god...
