Tuesday, June 13, 2006 . 1:25 AM
i would love to tell you that just like in that linkin park song "in the end" nothing really matters. perphaps its true.it doesn't matter cause it's all over and nothing can be saved but it hurts.i think that part does matter.i think it matters THE MOST.
at times i seems to suffer temporary insanity
temporary panic attacks
feels like slipping into some hell-hole abssy where not even you could find me.
i tend to fall and i don't even know why. looking at you i think you could give me a leg up or perphaps push me deep under ground to die. i think you do both.
makes me wonder if you would even care to look if i disappear. or then perphaps you would stand by the side lines and shrug you shoulders at me. that's right. it wasn't you..you didn't even know or even remotely guess i could feel this way. tortured and in hell. that's right. so now you do know. learn something new everyday. keeps the brain active.
so you tell me you don't care or care selectively and you are so dead tired
that you do not believe me, my word, my pain, my hell. and that indirectly you are getting tired of me. perphaps i think too much. perphaps not.
then you take my heart
craved out fresh from my breast bone and plunk it on a platter and tossed it to the junkyard. giving it a few kicks every now and then.
thanks baby . you really are one in a million.
oh but you know that already don't you?
that's why i am with you.
[headmusic]: qing tian by jay chou
[thoughts]: the omen... and ominioous signssssssssss
