Sunday, February 05, 2006 . 7:48 PM
PATIENCE:the ultimate thing that i think when i was young i remembered singleing out as one of my better qualities.not that i had ego big enough to think that my better qualities extended to that many, but still it was just one of those things i took pride in knowing i had.
sadly this golden touch
perphaps this beautiful mind of my darling Patience is now nothing but marred by many incidences which have stretched it far and wide to an abyss.
i wish i could take this back though. perphaps i could have saved her.
could i save myself too ..how i just wish to sweep back into childhood days and play with my cousins, creating bonfires, setting traps, and catching tootties at camron highlighs.i miss those day of trips to play, those old holiday music which really meant something and the time when i could just stay free of all hassle and mental stigmas. younger.
my Patience was something i lost
along with those old times, and those good ole days which went by way too fast. too many people trampled and stoomped on whatever i had leave, and she got mad at me so she leaves me with nothing but depress propensity to feel anymore but anger and color when i get frustrated at all the little things.
in the brain it does break down
measure for measure whats right, whats wrong. my temper does not keep its rein check with my brain anymore. somehow i think they fought or aren't on any good terms that i currently hate them both.
how does it feel to lose Patience?
pretty precious Patience
i feel like a 5 year old, holding 5 year old petty arguements, with a 5 year old anger management, so i kick and scream like the little kids i so dislike. and then i hate myself. cause i know myself yet not act my age. childish
my anger flashes
white and
blinding
me
i go blind trying to curb it
i try using Patience but she runs low too
she was sick of me and told me to go to hell
so i am tired now
old and older.
Patience does not want me anymore
i dont want myself either
