swapped work days with marie so i can get my sunday off. thank god or i think i'll simply be hanged by the gang. its bad enough i was sick and couldn't be there for many events.i feel so out of touch with the rest of the world.

im still down and still have not recieved any letter from NIE yet. a slow panic is building but im remaining cool calm collected which is so not true.i hope it comes soon.

today i was late agian for work. was late by 30mins and obviously tis does not reflect well on me. met miss ang yester and she chidded me for being so spiteful to my supers.she thinks that i was doing my usual routine of telling them about my other chances with NIE since my probation was extended. hmmmm... i don't think i intended to threaten them with anything. just thought i'd be upfront about my thoughts about teaching and that i may leave the centre anyhow. so the big question now is : is being too honest wrong to when you are surrounded by people paid to ACT and put on masks. how strange that i wind up being in a place where truth holds not much weight in water. it is weighed in my blood.

and you left with the friday gang and now i am so envious, so dying to get away from sg i want to run to where you are. and why not ? i want to hoilday too! well i think hoilday is not the word. i want to migrate and have nice car, small garden which i can grow weed in, a ferret to play with crystal, a life to call mine. how's that for a change?

i feel so chained down. its like i've sold my soul to the devil. well. almost.

[HEADMUSIC]: thank you for loving me by bonjovi