Tuesday, March 28, 2006 . 10:00 PM
thinking back i havent really eaten for the past 3 daysnot much really. finally ate a full meal yesterday night and wanted to throw up but nothing came out. how gross
spent the night in lots of pain
stomach was horror and my right knee started hurting. was already pain during the day time. the night was worse. my mum tossed me a knee brace and i took 3 tablets for the stomach. slept asap ..
today was spent watching lxhy and tution at the usual toa payoh
i think jon's mum is weird.
seriously
tomolo schedule:
-10.30am viewing of house
-meeting at 1.30pm with Dr winters
-D&D at grand coptorne from evening to night(remind me to print work sheet for may)
argh ... HELL WEEK
::What do you get when you fall in love?
A girl with a pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again
What do you get when you kiss a girl?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do she'll never phone you
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again
Don't tell me what it's all about
'Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out
Out of those chains those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you
What do you get when you give your heart?
You get it all broken up and battered
That's what you get a heart that's shattered
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again
Out of those chains those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you
What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So for at least until tomorrow
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again ::
[headmusic]: breathe by telepopmusik
[dream]: you said you were sorry. i didn't know why
Monday, March 27, 2006 . 4:34 AM
kayz.. brain falling asleep alreadyhow lousy
planned to kick start myself into doing some lit
BUT ..ERM..
what is that quote: " the mind is willing but the flesh is weak"?
unfortunately i only just finished typing out my draft one for my cultural landscape proj and bit sleeeeepishy. *sighs . horror geog stuff but lucky me i get to use methods and practises info into the project. seemingly related. thank goodness. i know .. what a cheat! *makes a face. okie all uploaded. (yaaaawwwwwnnnn.. whoops!) humphz..where's red cow when you need one
tomorrow:
seems like a pretty xiong day
its only xiong cause all things seem to be pretty packed during the afternoon. awful man
hope i remember lunch this time...
oooooo!
test papers are out!
i still remember rambling on in my test paper. oh no ..
eek kinda scared. shall pray first then go get my paper from the SA studies block. AS2 sumthing ... AS 02-03-05/6? hmm.. okie shall wander around checking for it then.how typical me
2 lects and one proj meeting
okie i must perserve on
study study study ...
but now i need sleep one word:
Gorgeous.
[headmusic]:so sick by neo-yo
::and im so sick of lovesongs
so tired of tears
so done with wishing you were still here
said im so sick of lovesongs
so sad and slow
so why cant i turn off the radio::
>> check this out
Saturday, March 25, 2006 . 2:36 PM
i cared too muchthat was my only flaw
this is why.
i am going a billion miles backwards
and breaking this illusion of
the loveless
im breaking my own heart at the same time.
patch work
[head music]:the blower's daughter by damien rice
[quote of the year]: for the very first time in my life i finally truly hate myself
dear everyone,
this blog and myself is currently under deconstruction.bear with me.
Friday, March 24, 2006 . 11:47 AM
we are in constant stages of disintegrationK.A:"so when is our peak period?"
mari claimed hers was now.
k.a says hers was yet to come
i said mine was way past and i was suffering mental death
told her i think we were always in constant transition, perphaps from one stage of disintegration to another.the only thing that mattered was at which stage do we then finally throw in the white towel, lie down and die.
how about YOU?
you never know do you when you do finally die
too many deaths a day: mental, phyiscal, spiritual, emotional need i go on?
doesnt matter really
sadistically, i keep thinking to myself i have gone past any stage.
perphaps im giving myself too much credit, and overrating my abilities to die.and worse, die so many deaths. i would like to simply shrug that idea off.the assumption that i can't or haven't i mean. too tired when i have to keep questioning myself if i am right. let me assume i am. i feel better this way. you don't have to agree with my assumption though, its just a thought.
let you think of me as a prick
an egotistic intelligent biatch.
easier then believing that i truly am just
smart
mad
and
dead
hey Life!
throw me a bone
throw something to live for and send it my way
but ..
the thing is: it is painful when i am not dead.
but alive
fully
perphaps i really don't want to really live too
does that mean the only way a person like me can wake up and breathe is to stay grudgingly in limbo?
neither dead nor fully alive? suffering both conditions and never belong to any one side fully
but u see i get to stay alive
its my compromise
i never understood this about myself
so let me go
::A picture taken yesterday slowly starts to fade away. There's got to be an answer There's no use being afraid to see what my life was meant to be. Take me so much higher. And do you see the danger? It's creeping up behind 'Cause you're turning me inside out, you're breaking all these promises we made. Maybe time will make it right. 'Cause you're turning me inside out, it's taken all my strength and will to stay.
[headmusic]:sorry by jay chou
Thursday, March 23, 2006 . 11:53 PM
[and so the r.a.i.n]so let it rain then
pour
just like you said you wanted
joy
and i kept my solitude cause that is what its for -
myself
bundled, huddled
let me keep my own tempest in
for fear you know now
that you have done the worst thing
and
affected,
inflicted
me
pain.
you are so highly committed in your non-committment
i don't know to applaude you
or run
i wish you : rain. THE LORCA VARIATIONS(VIII)
BACKWATERS
See him in ice & in pain
(mad Lorca)
see him in cypresses.
Dead in his eye,
in his tongue.
Stagnant water lies over him.
Poplars cut deep &glass williows.
Water is locked in his heart
In his eyeballs.
Dead air.
Metal branches.
suddenly remembered having this conversation with amin and wee keong during lunch the other day.im so glad amin and i both agree on the same thing- that the words "i NEED you." is the most romantic. cheers min, we are both freaking suckers waiting...
wee keong: hahah. so glad you know now. glad you felt you learnt sumthing:)i caught myself :
how silly to know that
i have been
waiting
and expecting
you.
list of upcoming events in next few days:
-uploading by fri geog and methods
-uploading by sunday cultural lanscapes
-fri : tution at toa payoh (surpriseeee surrrpriseee i didnt get fired.gdness.dammit. i wish i did) , then tution are emira heights
-sat: NUM show clashing with hoppera
-sunday: jazz/project meeting would it clash
ps: my ear feels weird. but i finally found the courage to do it. i think it takes a measure of pain so you cant feel anything else.now why is that? how strange
[headmusic]: stay by lisa loeb location: as4 comp lab geog lesson
stuck in a rut sitting with wei lun thinking how to solve our Ttest problem
he tells me " ritttteeeeeee...." like how could i be blogging at a time like tis. confused.shall i ask the tutor for help?
maybe
maybe not
eew
this is bad ~
met neoy for lunch today
didnt sit in Hell this time. got tired eating even
watched some video for cultural landscapes today.not bad.getting pretty sleeeeeeepy all the way
chatted abit with amin as usual
haix ..non-committal-committed stuff.i wished him luck
excited about the NUM fashion show later on in the wkends.
great, some thing to look forward to.
finally
[head music]: sway by bic runga
Tuesday, March 21, 2006 . 1:18 AM
havent been blogging in awhiledon't know was it cause i suffered some brain damage or perphaps it died along some some way back
im simplying typing ...
how thoughtless
today began slow
woke up slowly.. so reluctant to crawl outa bed. headed to sch for one misery project meeting.
but by the end of the nite wounded up with plans for a movie and a supper at newton
i won myself 3 huge.. and i mean HUGE mosquitoe bites on my leg
urgh. thats why i hate wearing skirts. super regret. *glowers
why in hell do i bother anyway
my mood today was like the weather
grey and flickle to rain
still is
where is Joy these days?
flickle , flickle , flickle
... tution at toa payoh tomolo
blk 80b hmm.. hope i find it. ahaha ahh well .. shall try
1st lesson. hope i wont disappoint too much. since that boy is a genius already shouldn't be any prob.ermm... i hope.(dear god, may i NOT look stupid tomolo infront of the kid.i'll be good.thx)
[FIXER]
fix-her.
i told you it would not
go but you tried
so fly
fly
bye she cried telling me to keep mum
mumbling, muttering, mustering
courage to take that flight
out of
here
[FAVOURITE POISION]
let me give you spite
poured down a glass of
wine
spite of you for you
mine
neither thine
thine
not mine
thine, thine, thine
twisted trice
eyes
laced with lime
>>yummy.but i still like my bloodymary:pepper, salt. lemon,tomato juice, vodka, worchester sauce. beats blood and gore anytime
[TRUST]
Love how dare you
come here for me
"Go back wench" twas what
he said to her.
i see nothing
nothing,
nothing
in you
"Nothing?" she asked
Absolutely.
[TRUST II]
Blind men graves i bury You in some
Time
i grow but weary.
so weary
wary.
of me
>>I couldn't bring myself to compile one and two. go figure
shout outs :
miss a: where is the best swimming pool?
princess:i'll rem your offer being for now
nixx: charmaine rang me up!you owe me an explaination very very soon.**ahemzzz.. hope you guys are okie.you know my number. use it.
andy:quit bitchin' about guys! @_@" make me lose my appetite and driving me nutters
min: *raise eyebrow ..tixs tixs tixs!!
to the rest of the world:piss off you're driving me insane.
[headmusic]: F.U.R.B by eamon
Thursday, March 16, 2006 . 11:26 PM
::don't feel sorry for Lovehe wants the world to love him
then goes and spoils it
for all of us::
[headmusic]:true by ryan cabrera
Sunday, March 12, 2006 . 8:05 PM
had a crazy two days helping out at the NUS open hse.was the dj with teddy and i think after the intial glitches things went .. erm .. better.
created this "NUS challenge" on the spur
think it was darn farnie
accidentally called the architech real estate fac as building and design. o man .. how dui lian
but overall met alot of chirpy students miling in
actualli happy with the response that people were receptive to us even thou they were newbies into nus for the day.
b-boxing by the acjc peeps yesterday. very sporting of everyone
:) i had fun.
hp die while i was in town yester. so stupid never charge when the two miss as were around for mahjong. damn pathetic. won quite a lot bit then died all the way. 20 cents won.bleah
realli hate it when my hp dies jlt
dammit
miss a is pissed with me
great
very tired
mom coming home soon.
waiting ...
Friday, March 10, 2006 . 6:09 PM
[the world ain't slowin down]just thought you might like it
::I found you sitting on a suitcase crying
Beneath my feet, I feel the rumble of a subway train
I laugh out loud, 'cause it's the one thing I hadn't been trying
The train came in breathless,
The passanger's restless
You say, "Baby, you'll never change"
You gotta get gone, you gotta get going
Hey, the world ain't slowing down for no one
It's a carnival callin out to you
It sounds like a song,
Hits you like scripture
You paint the picture
With colors squeezed from your hand
Weren't you the kid
Who just climbed on the merry-go-round
Hey look, the world ain't slowing down
Hey, hey, the world ain't slowing down
Hey, hey...
Out on the sidewalk,
Pigeon's do the moonwalk
I'll be dancing like Fred Astaire
The lamppost's are rockin,
The whole town's talkin
Like a fool in a barber's chair
And I get the sensation,
The joy and fustration
Like being caught by a tropical rain
Freedom can numb you,
When there's no place to run to
It feels just like Novocane
You gotta get gone, you gotta get going
Hey the world ain't slowin down for no one
It's a carnival callin out to you (it's callin out to you)
It sounds like a song,
Hits you like scripture
You paint the picture
With colors squeezed from your hand
Weren't you the kid Who just climbed on the merry-go-round
Hey look, the world ain't slowin down
Hey, hey, the world ain't slowing down
Hey, hey...
You packed up all your handbags,
Throwing off the sandbags
I let go and you stepped free
I didn't want to lose you
You said, "You didn't choose to, It's just how your karma came."
But thanks for the vision,
And the twenty-twenty wisdom
It hit me like a south-bound train
You gotta get gone, you gotta get going
Hey the world ain't slowin down for no one
It's a carnival callin out to you (it's callin out to you)
It sounds like a song,
Hits you like scripture
You paint the picture
With colors squeezed from your hand
Weren't you the kid Who just climbed on the merry-go--
Weren't you the kid Who just climbed on the merry-go--
Weren't you the kid Who just climbed on the merry-go-round
Hey look, the world ain't slowin down
Hey, hey, the world ain't slowin down
Hey, hey, it's a big, blue world
It's a big, blue world Ridin' on a big, blue world::
[headmusic]: learning to breathe by switchfoot
Thursday, March 09, 2006 . 4:38 PM
SPSS data editornow sitting in the com lab at as4 01-15 being bored
still havent accessed the exam results. feeling the pins and needles.great
the grades1.sav turn out to be a fluke
how lousy. realli should see my very extremo -_-" face
nice
so far i missed lit klass cause i was too tired
didnt sleep till 8 am. eyes are pain
wei lun was wundering why i was wearing glasses.ha
the bear-hamster conflict kept me up. still not done yet.o no. but luckily bunnell was very nice and let us hand in 11.59pm as well. still panicking cause im dissatisfied looking at the essay thus far.
amin said word limit 1500. thought 2500.
no? o well. cut.. cut... cut..!
:carpe diem:
what era is your closet inspired by: your closet's inspired by the '80s
No, we don't mean '80s in the mullet-sporting-massive-bow-wearing kinda way. But a fun-loving and sassy gal like you can't say the momentary comeback of leg warmers didn't make you smile at least a little.Something about the era of big belts, stirrup leggings, and dangly earrings gives you inspiration for your own closet. Whether it's the bright colors or bold patterns that inspire you, a rock star like you is all about making a statement that's all your own. And your love of the hairspray decade only proves that you're a girl unafraid to show her sass and wear her attitude. Who can argue with that?
Keep your wardrobe looking fresh every day of the year. Get inspired at bpnordstrom.com and find everything you need to complete your ‘80s look!
>>>so didnt know i was so groovy.haa
what's your cat type:your cat's a Mugger
Talk about mugging for the camera! That's right, your cat's a natural-born showoff with a wild independent streak. How else would they end up being the center of attention so often? And really, what could be more endearing than a furry little friend who steals the show — whether you're home alone, or hosting a dinner party?
how bright is your aura?: the brightest color in your aura is Blue
Contrary to popular myth, auras are actually multi-colored energy fields that can be divided into seven primary layers. Having Blue as your brightest color means that the fifth layer of your aura is the most vibrant. You have exceptional abilities to access your masculine and feminine strengths, which makes you very charismatic and draws others to you. You're persistent in your pursuits, and because of this you likely feel that your life is headed in the right direction.
Where a bright layer of your aura expresses strength in a certain area of your life, a dull layer can indicate weakness or illness. Your complete, personalized Aura Reading will show you the vibrancy of every layer of your aura, giving you a crystal clear picture of your overall emotional and physical health. It's ready right now!
did sum dumb tests
how funny
http://www.web.tickle.com
quite sad its not in java :( humph. would have been better with images and the attached links
k shall do one last one before i go ..
date the right sign for your personality: the best Zodiac Match for your personality is Scorpio
Scorpio, the Scorpion (October 24 to November 22): This powerful and passionate partner is just your type. Initially, a Scorpio may catch your eye with their confidence and determination. But as you get to know them, you're even more likely to be drawn to the firmness of your Scorpio's convictions and the strength of their desires. People born under this sign often have magnetic personalities. They're also usually able to communicate with a great intensity of emotion. Be aware, because of Scorpios' strong, passionate natures, they sometimes have a tendency to become jealous or critical. However, a Scorpio's love can also be exceptional in its depth and potency. In the bedroom, you'll likely find the Scorpion to have a high libido that keeps them sexually charged. In general, Scorpios are people who feel deeply and react strongly to their emotional perception of the world around them.Although Scorpio is your strongest Zodiac Match, your responses indicate there are a number of other astrological signs that you're highly compatible with.
>>>disgusting
[head music]:bang bang from kill bill soundtrack
ps: miss a thank you very very much very all your help! *hugs.. i owe you red cow?hmm.. cancelled your 3-4k debts from monopoly and mj.ha kidding. i owe you more. enjoy ur dinner with xav and co. cya
had to go for a meeting after klass
was with amin when i had to go to the dungeon
both of us wondering if the plants around the dungeon would die early due to the air pollution hindering their c02 intake.tsk
meeting when okie.
shouldnt be too much of a problem. i just hope i dont freak out. yet
princess was nice today
heard lame jokes and a horror mao mao song.yikes
it made me laugh
now i have a bigger horror
geog essay due tomolo. bunnell is so gonna kill me
[head music]: mao mao ge by i dunno who
Wednesday, March 08, 2006 . 3:57 AM
just a thought: randomthere is a big difference between those who are worth it
and those who aren't
regarding today
perphaps i have dissapointed those when i ought to be there
but sometimes you've got to understand who my heartstrings pulls to be the more important
i can't help it
ps: sexy i hope you have a great one! "you and me" rocks. i owe you. so sorry
pps: some people are really too h.o.t to handle.
[head music]: the sound of the soceer match (o man.. whyyyy me?)
Sunday, March 05, 2006 . 12:08 AM
[fields of gold]::You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in fields of gold
So she took her love for to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold
Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley?
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in fields of gold
See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold
I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We'll walk in fields of gold
We'll walk in fields of gold
Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold
You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold
When we walked in fields of gold::
[headmusic]: a thousand miles by vanessa carlton
[quote of the day]: love is afloating
Friday, March 03, 2006 . 4:48 PM
quick recap of the past few days :-lotsa school stuff. midterms and lit presentation finally done.so god damn tired
-less then 10hrs of sleep all thru the week i think
-dinner with nelly and adeline at chinatown which was darn filling. that day couldnt get a cab how annoying!
okieeee... where do i start
yesterday was a strange day
had my presentation which i think i so definately screwed up
teddy heard his friend say sumthing about " the next presenter .. does not look promising.." o man. so dui lian. but i guess i deserved it. it was a boring presentation. cus i was not the one who set the topic. hmmm... i should. think i'd do tons better. humph. and while presenting i saw this girl the one who i thought was called geraldine from my previous 19th century class. great. only she and apple would know why.
then i had some free time and headed to the lib
i found mr loh at the usual place and chatted abit. think im being weird cause after so long awhile i actually talked to him. and he helped me out *amazed* with my geog essay stuff.i was happy to see that ediot after all this time. i must be going mad.
got scolded and teased by both dylan and amin regarding the whole issues of the palestine-israel conflict. but thanx to both of them i UNDERSTAND NOW. once again, thanks guys for the help !
i feel more confident now :)
left sch with mr neo then headed town
jessica's bday at tony romas. yum
ate like 6 ribs, 2 cheeze sticks, 2 potato skins and was so full.
was talking to jonathan while the usual 4 took their photos. we both were laughing about how exculded we both were but use to it.
ah rong and co. did a sweet thing for ke ai
they made this photo album thingy for her. i was pretty touched by their efforts. i was also horrified by some of the pics.sighs.. we were all soooooooooooooooooooooo much skinnier then. o man i was like 48kg? great. where is that diet plan of mine?
went to a very very nice place after the din
shant say where. its called V.B. i'll only give the intials.
played games where kenny (jess bf) was even slower than her! (that means ultra slow.hee) then ah rong was very funny too. for once her hai dai was not so extreme. oh and i actually won the hai dai challenge!
all through out i was dead tired
the 2 redcows were running out of my system.so i was losing steam
really wanted to be there for the bday but failed to rise much to the occasion. was amused by all and full from food. tired overall
heard about the sms of how hao wanted to meet up at holland v of all places!
dunno whats with holland v.
never went there so many times in my entire life as i had within the past few wks.
strange.
pei wanted to meet her friends hao and raymond
so i met teddy
realised everywhere was freaking close so we simply sat around drank and go mad.
think the 5 of us were pretty mad
new games which teddy intro-ed involving "the thumb master" absolutely killed me
wahhhh.. can die. i drew an ace and wound up sitting besides uncles who were talking politics. so dui lian..
got upset when i saw this dog which this nut raymond chased away
i couldnt help it
it looked very sad and think it was pretty old and not well.
limping and without much of a tail.
perphaps it was the limp. perphaps cause of the way the dog looked at me and slept while i pat it. perphaps ...
but it made me feel all upset agian over bob
so while the games continued i was sitting with the dog by the grass patch
feeling all shitty all over agian.
i really miss him
i didnt play anymore after that. was upset and my only 1 hours of sleep time the night before finally hit me. i fell aslp by the table
now its the next day
i woke up laughing thinking about yesterday.
there is still some part of me that's upset over bob. residue which will last forever. i hate the word "forever" but this is true. genuine. and forever
[headmusic]: give me one reason by tracy chapman
[quote of the day]: words are but words
