Saturday, July 15, 2006 . 4:40 PM
your words sliceharsher then the keenest knife
that even a stone will bleed
blood tears down
a hellish
plight of staircases
there
we stay
as all falls down
i left myself behind and sat straight-backed immovable like lead to the concrete floors. i would have nailed my foot to the floor boards but they were already stuck. then at that very moment i tried breathing it all in, like the way you try taking in hell's burning fumes, or the exhuast of a broken down old car. same. sitting there i think a brick may fall and it would not have hit me because it just could not anymore. i think nothing could.
when i walk, i keep thinking perphaps i could just walk my way back to you. to where you are. then it hit me cause i did not know if that is where i want to be. empty. to hear hollow words of hate that can slice thin air and me into two. i felt the pieces that was the worst.
sitting in shards of left-over me
i could not piece my thoughts nor string them to something legible. neither smart, nor very intelligent, it was like sitting in your own pee. does not really matter then what happened.
then i heard you pulled yourself up
so i did
so we survive as left-overs of you and me
and you smiled convincing me that its ok. a big generous smile showing that you hate me for everything i am. and i hate you for you being so you and i lose the fight and we go home happy. it is fair. and the world spins round and round then.
and whilst i lost me
you took my hand.
(ps: i am neither happy nor sad writing this. i just had to pen down certain abstract things which at some point floated before i lose them. thats what you get when you have a warped mind and thoughts that show up now and then.you don't have to understand. you can simply act smart and pretend you do.easy)
you: i know everything you do for me, the things you try just to be there, to make me happier and all and all of everything and everything.of course i do
[headmusic]: i just wanna fly by sugar ray
[thoughts]: if you had a bone key to pick my mind i don't think you would wanna see.
