Thursday, June 08, 2006 . 1:12 PM
she was going to give it all away todayit was her birthday yet i watched her walk away from everything she ever dreamt about.everything she thought she wanted before..
so she said her goodbyes with a final nonchanlent nod and watched as he walked off
cool i thought.
the girl was so darn cool. i could have applauded in my sleep
then i realise she was staring into space
heppily flipping through some photographs.
laughing at me and flicking water into my face.
"come lets swim" and she smiled.
so fast out of her system.
how cool i thought.
how cold.
leaning against a telephone booth she laughed at me.
suddenly, she stopped laughing.
she was clutching her birthday pictures in her hands and started to cry
"o my god..!" she said.
i looked up.
then she started running.
running out the door
out of the booth
out of the building.
"xing fu" she cried as turned back at me
and i stood with my mouth gaping when i saw her run. i was confused.
what did those words mean. why say that to me? why was she running?to where to whom and most importantly why?
i walked to pick the fallen photographs
1st photo: i saw a picture of them
2nd photo:a picture of cake ice-ing
3rd photo: some blurry photo shot
then i looked at them again.
closer.
1st photo: i saw a picture of them
2nd: i saw a picture of icing from a top of the cake. the picture was flooded with animals, words, letters and at the bottom i was them. those dreadful words: "xing fu" in bold staring right at me in the face
3rd picture: a candid shot of a blurred table. i looked harder at the and realise the name of the guy was spelt unside down on the blurred shot. so inconspious i was stunned to realise the wriggly writing was his name in the photo.
every other shot i started flipping throught all held a key to ever happy moment with him.
everything she just threw away minutes before.
i felt sick suddenly
i think my knees grow weak.
i had to lean agianst the wall.
suddenly the building, with the pool, with the water, with all its grandeur and splendor didn't seem so great anymore.
i had to sit down.
i knew then excately where she was heading then
to say she was sorry.
to spill out in her own words to proclaim a thousand years of love
to tell him the pictures told all.
and that she was wrong.
that she was wrong all along
after so many years, finally she say those which i myself could never say..
and then i woke up from my dream.
i feel awful and my head spins in every direction
i think i need a glass of warm water either that or a fatal shot to the head
what sleep. i feel like i was running all through out. damn .. how awful.
i think back on the girl of my dreams..
im still hoping she really found her voice.
