Tuesday, April 25, 2006 . 11:58 PM
26/4old song. same tune. same old shit.
im so tired it doesnt matter. you don't even read the shit i write anyhow. at least i think you don't.
::I need your arms around me
I need to feel your touch
I need your understanding
I need your love so much
You tell me that you love me so
You tell me that you care
But when I need you (baby)
Baby you're never there
On the phone long long distance always through such strong resistance
First you say you're to busy
I wonder if you even miss me
Never there
You're never there
You're never ever ever ever there::
i guess i tend to build my ego and my own resistence and barriers due to reasons like these. when i am around no one cares. when im not then after 1000000000000 years people start to notice. some care some don't. this really gets old on me. the old usual me will run ...
im spilling crap on this page though i seriously oughta be studying cause the thought just came across my mind. what the hell make YOU so fucking ass special.
i hate the inconsistency
i hate taking your hand then realising you want to put mine down
i hate trying to reach you via the phone
i hate thinking i have to plummed in with all the friends
i hate waiting in line for you to decided to pick up that phone when i have been waiting all freaking day long just for you
i hate telling not telling you everything
i hate your care not care attitude and you distancing me
i hate sitting here by myself
i hate running after you
i hate waiting just to tell you about my day.
i hate forcing you to try to listen to my day
i hate getting angry with you
i hate the work, but i hate you not being there with me
i hate knowing though you are online i am semi afraid to msg which makes no sense at all. seriously why the hell should i fear?
i hate fearing you telling me your busy otherwise not free
i hate myself for being so sheepishly dumb BUT ..
i hate Y.O.U the most
i hate this most cause i swear you don't even know its YOU im talking about
(seriously, i bet you don't even realise when you are reading this. do you even read at all?)
i get so tied up and so unravelled by your shit i don't know what to do.
(editorial note:i had to edit certain things... im sorry my mind i a mess these days. i need some emotional support here. my cry for help.bear with me 27/4)
*********deep breath
okie..
just a note. nuthing bad happened to day. i had to lash out. nuthing happend that this person did... erm today. well .. its a long run thing. plus i think my brain needed to vomit out some stuff so i can take new things in.
kay about today,
actually nice things happend. erm. semi- nice actually. ran into ann at the mrt chatted, hearing about her gg for some hot date! sighz. why does she get all these weird hot dates... tsk. anyway, then met miss a and went for din.
found a nice place near bugis and sat down drank abit, read, and played cards
the place was nice. im glad we went. think she was dyinggggggggg of exhaustion but she ren for me. i appreciate it. thanks.. :)
[head music]: sorry by jay chou
[quote]: sometimes you just make my day without even knowing it
and sometime you just fuck it up
27/8:
tiring day. paid a super duper power mama library fine! im still sulking
i know its my darn fault. can i at least complain?
okieee.. tired. too many books, too little time. i wish for someone to cheer me on havent felt much drive lately. drop me an sms yeah?
gdluck to all the peeps mugging.
im dyingggggg~~~~
