Saturday, February 18, 2006 . 10:38 AM
i woke up thinking" this is bad .."
how firmilar a phrase .. -_-"
hmmmm.. *grumbles.. im up and wake at 10am. my mum being crabby with me cause as usual i am being soooo last minute in telling her things. she's wearing lime green all over. gdness.. i decided on board short and a pink tank top
starting coughing again
this morning aint feeling fabulous
simply tired and bit stoned.pain
my sis was being a nutter about the com and bobbi ..
great think she's dissed with me too. haixxx... i am so irresponsible.
i know why
i just hate to admit it
well..
will be leaving soon think i might be late. then all of them can simply just kill me. and why not. i really need to be knifed right now. feeling disorientated. like a can't wake up.so awful. perphaps i need a cold shower soon before i go. .
sometimes the best things in life are free
sometimes the happiest little shits that happened are the worst for your system
sometime you need to just get out -
now
people use to tell me how arrogant and narsisstic i am
i loved myself too much
i am too selfish
so on and so forth ..
so i know i love myself alot
though in my brain i hate my ego, my guts, my useless ramblings, my self denial, my concepts of pain, my vertical illusions, my disillusionments which i see is real,my lies, my sincerity, my insensitiveness, my genius, my-self
but now i feel stupid
this is a first
::Do I stress you out
My sweater is on backwards and inside out
And you say how appropriate
I don't want to dissect everything today
I don't mean to pick you apart you see
But I can't help it
There I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off
Slap me with a splintered ruler
And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already
If only I could hunt the hunter
And all I really want is some patience a way to calm the angry voice
And all I really want is deliverance
Do I wear you out
You must wonder why I'm relentless and all strung out
I'm consumed by the chill of solitary
I'm like Estella I like to reel it in and then spit it out I
'm frustrated by your apathy
And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land
If only I could meet the maker
And I am fascinated by the spiritual man
I am humbled by his humble nature
What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate
Someone else to catch this drift
And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred
Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute
Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while
The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses
Falling all around.... all around
Why are you so petrified of silence
Here can you handle this?
.....Did you think about you bills, your ex, your deadlines
Or when you think you're going to die
Or did you long for the next distraction
And all I need now is the intellectual intercourse
A soul to dig the hole much deeper
And I have no concept of time other than it is flying
If only I could kill the killer
All I really want is some peace man
A place to find a common ground
And all I really want is a wavelength
All I really want is some comfort
Away to get my hands untied
And all I really want is some justice.....:: -am
[headmusic]: tao dai by jolin tsai and perphaps some english song i have not figure out yet
