Wednesday, February 22, 2006 . 7:39 AM
did a stupid thing of sleeping earlyguess i was tired from alot of things floating on my mind.
now i am wide awake i feel slightly nutty cause i would like to roll back to bed but i feel the need to get out and do something. anything
breakfast anyone?
im not really the type for breakfast because im usually dead asleep or too fazed out to even eat. makes me always wonder how i get so fat although i dont eat THAT much.low metabolism rates?think i need a pill.hah
anyway, regarding yester
steven was more calm and less drunk this time
as usual he hit his usual higher state of mind later on in as the night wore on. as for me i was amused but not entertained, nor entertaining. by 11pm i was bit sleepy already and had left. too tired for conversations. like i've been telling circle, i feel like i've been suffering a "compression" recently. i feel disorientated, un-nerved and depressed. i really don't know why. guess of just recent shit popping up. life is such a biatch these days so am i allowed to detach myself from me then?
*sighs my depression comes and goes at least its done with a smile
i give credit to make up and years of practice
....suddenly thought about the conversation with circle
she was telling me this whole thing about J and how "de-sexed" everything was.that started me talking about the whole physical non physical debate.
question : "how is it possible to feel attracted to someone yet not physically wanting/lusting after that person? "
i think J suffers some family suppressing issues and so had this kinda problem so me and circle were in hot debate over this. i can't figure it out too. she told me it was love. i pulled a face.
solution: none. reasoning too vague and unexplainable
whatever it is
im glad that although im crazy circle still is able to kick the shit outa me and hit sense into me. i am glad too that she is able to keep my feet grounded. this is why i don't fly
note:my breakfast call what a concidence!
::I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore
Before you take a swing I wonder what are we fighting for
When I say out loud I want to get out of this
I wonder is there anything I'm going to miss
I wonder how it's going to be
When you don't know me
How's it going to be When you're sure I'm not there
How's it going to be When there's no one there to talk to
Between you and me Cause I don't care
How's it going to be
How's it going to be
Where we used to laugh There's a shouting match
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch
A silence I can't ignore
Like the hammock by the Doorway we spent time in swings empty
Don't see lightning like last fall When it was always about to hit me
I wonder how's it going to be
When it goes down
How's it going to be
When you're not around
How's it going to be When you found out there was nothing Between you and me
Cause I don't care How's it going to be
And how's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
And how's it going to be
Want to get myself back in again
The soft dive of oblivion I want to taste the salt of your skin
The soft dive of oblivion oblivion
How's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
How's it going to be
How's it going to be
How's it going to be::
[headmusic]: the grouch by greenday
[quote for today]:
i know i am imperfect
but do you have to throw all my flaws to my face
all at once?
