Sunday, February 12, 2006 . 3:09 PM
: i pray may your heart never break infront of mine least i break first:it's been a day. since that time i had a talk with miss a surrounded by cats that i smelt this faint distant bobbi-ish smell.gdness.till now i smell just the norm stuff. no bob. hmmm.. maybe i am recovering.maybe my brain decided not to let me go psycho after all. a relief
been very tired lately
the eyebags and this weariness on my soul is taking its toll phyically.looking at the mirror scares me.
but i try and look forward.
thanks a lot to everyone with their kind words. a balm to some of this pain.
but i know pain is still pain. the problem with words is that they were never quite sufficent to help in everything. just like how i tend to screw up my own words when i try to explain how i feel.same
and im so tired lately
been making like 10000000000000 phcalls regarding RP lauch and stuff for the 13-15 feb. at least there have been distractions for my grief. arguements, settling RP stuff, liasoning with NUSSU and people in RP for help. crazyness
(strange that we are launching on vday.suddenly i feel sad all over agian. i think that for vday my dog alive would be my bestest valentine's day gift. even when i was like in sec sch i never had any crazy HOT dates. at least he was there. usually i'd give him a chicken drumstick on that day too. *sighs. k shall not go crazy thinking back..)
i need a best friend now
someone i can really talk to.sincerely and genuinely want to be there.
but its so hard these days when all around me all i see is one disappointment, after another lier, after another's spite, after another's hatred, after another's insincerity, another's indecisiveness, after my own pain. maybe thats why talking to bob was always the easiest
i need ::comfort::
shouting at me now and putting pressure does not help. i am numb through and through. somehow i am scared. i keep thinking that with bob gone i can't feel anymore.
then agian maybe its a good thing i can't .
im heading underground and burying myself with sch.
i hope to recover
just give me some time
::Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above
I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love's suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life::
[headmusic]: no need to argue by the cranberries
